Most of us are living in captivity because of the wounds that we carry in our hearts. Wounds we don’t want to open up about because we are scared of going through the painful journey of healing.
Our fear of facing the past sometimes seems to outweigh our desire to heal. Or perhaps we have carried certain wounds for so long that the idea of healing has begun to feel impossible. We may want to be free from the pain, but after years of living with it, we no longer know what life would look like without it.
In some ways, we can become like the man at the pool of Bethesda who had been there for thirty-eight years. John 5 tells us that Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been in that condition for a long time.
Then Jesus asked him a question that I used to find strange: “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6).
I used to wonder why Jesus would ask a man who had been lying by a pool for thirty-eight years whether he wanted to get well. Surely the answer was obvious. But perhaps Jesus was bringing something deeper to the surface. The man had been there for so long that his condition had become part of his life. He wanted to be healed, but he had also experienced years of disappointment and failed attempts to get into the pool.
When Jesus asked him if he wanted to get well, the man did not simply say yes. Instead, he explained why he had not been healed. He had no one to put him into the pool when the water was stirred, and while he was trying to get there, someone else would go ahead of him. (John 5:7).
His answer reveals something we can easily understand. Sometimes we genuinely desire healing, but after trying again and again and seeing nothing change, we begin to lose hope. We may still want freedom from pain, but we no longer see a way out. We have tried to move forward, only to find ourselves back in the same place.
It is like we have settled in our pain because we have tried time and again to get into the pool but have failed. The pain, disappointment, or the limitations have become familiar. We may not want to remain there, but we have stopped believing that anything can change.
That is what makes Jesus’ question so powerful: “Do you want to get well?”
Jesus was standing before a man who had spent thirty-eight years in the same condition, yet He was asking him to consider the possibility of becoming well. The man was focused on the pool and on everything that had prevented him from getting into it. Jesus, however, was about to show him that his healing did not have to come through the way he had always expected.
Sometimes, in our own healing journey, we can become so focused on how we thought healing would happen that we fail to recognize that Jesus is standing before us and inviting us to trust Him with our pain.
Perhaps you have carried your wound for years. Or you have tried to heal before and became discouraged. Maybe you have prayed, talked about it, tried to move forward, only to find yourself hurting again.
But your past experiences do not mean healing is impossible.
The man at the pool had been there for thirty-eight years, but Jesus did not look at the length of his condition and conclude that nothing could change. Jesus spoke to him in the place where he had been lying for years and told him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” (John 5:8).
The invitation to healing can sometimes begin with a willingness to believe that you don’t have to remain where you have been.
You may have lived with the pain for a long time, but you don’t have to make peace with the idea that this is how your story must always be.
Healing Is Not Just Telling Your Story
There is something powerful about bringing what has been hidden into the light.
But healing should not stop at telling the story.
We need to go through the entire process to become whole.
Honestly, most people want the simple parts, like telling their story, but only a few want to go deeper to deal with things like forgiveness and letting go of the pain.
Don’t misunderstand me.
Talking about what happened is important. Sharing with others what happened to us is usually the first step.
For some people, it may be the first time they have ever put words to what they experienced. It may be the first time they have admitted that something hurt them or acknowledged that what happened was not okay. It is in that place of actually talking about what happened that the healing journey begins, but it shouldn’t stop there.
We need to deal with foundational issues.
Sometimes we can spend years talking about what happened without allowing God to deal with what the experience produced inside us.
The wound may have produced fear or shame. It may have affected the way we see ourselves, other people, or even God. Maybe it has created bitterness, anger, distrust, or a constant need to protect ourselves.
If we only talk about the event but never deal with what it produced in our hearts, we can remain stuck in the same place.
Healing Requires Honesty
Healing requires us to become honest about what is happening inside us.
It means being willing to look beyond the obvious wound and ask deeper questions.
· Why does this still affect me?
· What did this experience teach me to believe about myself?
· What did it teach me to believe about other people?
· What did it teach me to believe about God?
· What am I holding onto?
· What am I afraid to release?
These questions are not always comfortable.
But sometimes the uncomfortable questions are the ones that lead us toward freedom.
Healing Takes Time
I used to think that healing was something I’d go through for a certain period and then move to other things.
But here is what I am learning:
Healing is a process.
It has its ups and downs. There may be days when you feel like you have made tremendous progress and other days when an old memory brings the pain back to the surface. That does not necessarily mean you have gone back to where you started. It means there are still things being worked through.
We need to permit ourselves to walk through the process rather than expecting everything to change overnight.
The goal is not simply to forget what happened. It is to become whole despite what happened.
Don’t Give Up on Your Healing
If you started your healing journey and gave up along the way, you can begin again.
You are not disqualified because healing has taken longer than you expected.
You are not failing because you still have things to work through.
Take the next step.
Open your heart to God again. Allow Him to show you what needs to be dealt with.
Healing may not happen in the way you expected, but that does not mean healing is impossible. And perhaps before we can understand how to heal, we need to understand where emotional pain began in the first place.
Reflection Questions
- What pain have I carried for so long that I have begun to believe I cannot live differently?
- What has my past experience produced inside me: fear, shame, bitterness, distrust, anger, or a distorted view of myself, others, or God?
- What is one area of my heart that I need to surrender to God as I continue my journey toward healing and wholeness?